Chapter 44: Sick and Tired....and Feeling Guilty?

 

Still got a long road ahead to Florida, but it's getting shorter.  And faster....

    Sick days, rest days, and long days were on tap this week.  A few days of really doing nothing as I tried to let my body rest and get well, but then still got in my long run and bike rides.  And to be truthful, there was a little bit of guilt mixed in too. But I knew that I needed to get "unsick" so I can get ready for my last 4 weeks of big training.  I feel better now, but the beginning of the week, not so much.  In the big picture, it was very little workouts for the week, but I'm OK.  And here we go.  14 weeks down, 6 to go.  

Weekly Stats:

• Swim (1x)
• .63 miles (1,100 yards)
• 21:26
• Bike (1x)
• 96.91 miles
• 5:05:14
• Run (2x)
• 16.81 miles
• 3:00:02
• Yoga (2x)
• 56:01
• TOTALS:
• 6 Activities
• 114.34 miles
• 9:22:43

Training Notes:

    Considering I haven't been sick in almost a year that I can remember (at least since I started my 70.3 training in February), I knew I was due at some point.  I did have a short day and half of a sore throat right at the end of May, but other than that, I've managed to stay healthy.  Ethan had been sick the week before, Julie over the weekend, and I guess it was my turn.  

   

    I felt a little down on Tuesday during my swim, and cut it short in the morning, and didn't end up doing my run that afternoon. When I got home from the KC Royals game that night, I just had nothing in me.  Wednesday I just took a rest day.  Nothing.  No workouts, no yoga.  And I started feeling guilty that I wasn't doing what was on the schedule.  But I slept the best I have in a long time and woke up Thursday feeling pretty normal.  That afternoon, I headed out after school for a little Thursday 2-1/2 hour stroll.  Nothing like knocking out 14 miles on a weekday after work. A doe, a few fawns, and a decent size buck came across my path. Always fun to see the wildlife knowing I'm really still in the middle of the city. I came to the conclusion as I was wondering to myself why I was putting myself through this that when I get to the run on my Ironman, it'll be later in the day and after being tired.  So in reality, this is perfect training for the run. Doesn't make it easy.  The run will be all mind-over-fatigue that day.  I just need to find my pace, my good heart rate, and put my head down and don't think about the miles ahead of me.  One step after another.

    On Friday I didn't get up for my swim.  Still felt fatigued and knew I had a really long day on Saturday ahead of me.  So Friday ended up being my second full rest day of week.  And the guilt crept back in. I know I was fine, that these two days and the other days of light work were giving my body the recovery it needed.  

    Saturday morning dawned 63 degrees, low wind, and open roads (once out of town).  I
took my route towards Jayhawk land and rode west to Lawrence. I ended on the west side of Clinton Lake, 48.5 miles from home then made the turn towards home. I stopped for water, fuel and a short pitstop and had a good talk with the proprietor of the"Latty Stagecoach Stop and Farm" on the front porch.  Then finished out another 1 hour 50 minutes to my driveway.  Total time, 5:05 with a total mileage of 96.91 miles.  Highest mileage by far (each long bike ride will give me a new record), but I felt strong.  Averaged 19 MPH which is right where I want to be on

my ride in Florida.  That would put me at under 6 hours for 112 miles.  Finished off the workout day with a short 30-minute run to teach my jelly legs how to run after pedaling for that long.  I was very encouraged on how I felt--tired, but not sore and know that I can run after the bike. 

    With that long bike and run afterwards on Saturday, I had Sunday as a bonus rest day. Lunch with great friends, and then a BBQ dinner for church. All of a sudden, week 14 is in the books!  

Daily Life:

And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

Hebrews 10:21-22

    Lots of things go through my mind on my long bike rides especially.  I don't wear headphones on the bike, so 5 hours of the wind and my thoughts allow me to really think and be still.  Sounds ironic since I'm averaging 95 or so RPM's on my pedal cadence, but my mind really is calm.  And quiet.  It's been one of my big blessings that I've learned to love.  

   

I kept thinking about how I felt sick and tired...and guilty this week.  That I wasn't doing enough. That I should be powering through my man cold and following my schedule no matter how I felt.  After all, I have an Ironman coming up.  I don't have time to take days off.  But that is as far from the truth as I can get.  I know it in my heart that it was the right thing to do. To take those days fully off and rest and recover.  And when I got to the backside of the week, I'm glad I did.  As I was on the bike, my mind went to how I might feel guilt in my daily life:  missed time with family, how I react to Julie or the boys, not getting things done around the house that I should.  And if I'm not following God's Word. I can put myself in situations where I am not doing what's right. I'm not out here committing felonies or abuses against others, but if I let sin creep into my life, I'm going against God. I don't get a pass to just do whatever I want because Jesus died for me. But....when I repent, I know that I'm forgiven, God removes that stain, and my sins are forgotten. And therefore I can move on from the guilt of my sin. I'm not living in guilt. I don't walk around with the weight of sin on my shoulders, but when it does creep into my life, I have faith that Jesus can take that away.  Since He died for my sins and I have believed on Him, I know that when I fail--as a Christian man, as a husband, as a dad--that one thing doesn't separate me for eternity from Him.  If I turn back to Him, to the plan He has laid out for me, and get back on God's path, then I'll be OK due to Jesus's grace and mercy. And His SPIRIT has freed me from that guilt and power of sin and death. Christ is my High Priest who has washed my guilt clean.

    This Ironman training is a very selfish journey. Yeah, I'm doing my best to prioritize my family, Julie, church, work, and personal responsibilities.  All while putting in some crazy hours on all my workout sessions (and this wasn't even a large-volume training plan!) When I take that one or two days off, the guilt started creeping in.  But I know that I have put faith in my training plan, and that day or two isn't going to make me lose my fitness.  But if I took a couple of weeks off due to laziness, lack of motivation, or sickness, then I'd start to feel the effects.  But if I get right back at it, come back into what I know is what I'm supposed to be doing, then it's going to be OK.  And I shouldn't have guilt for that day or two. I'm NOT comparing triathlon training plan to God's plan, salvation, and forgiveness.  By no means.  But this whole journey has proven to me that training has parallels in life.  It's been a fun process to think about this each week.  

Final Thoughts:

    A memory popped up on my Facebook page around this time of the year in 2015.  Ten years ago I was still riding my original Cannondale R3000 (the one that got stolen on the way out to 70.3 Arizona in 2016).  I had just put on some clip-on aero bars and was in a slow build up to longer distances on the bike.  33 miles. 16 MPH.  I was speedy!  I was so proud of that "longest ride ever".  Now I don't blink if I have a 30 mile ride.  So happy to see how far I've come.  At that point a decade ago, I had the idea in my head that I would eventually do a full Ironman, but it was such a huge task ahead of me.  And now.....    

    This week Rylan and I head to Chattanooga to cheer on Chad Koerner as he becomes an Ironman next Sunday.  I'm jealous that his week is here. But at the same time, I'm really glad I have 6 weeks left.  Rylan and I have a couple of volunteer shifts, one at the swim exit helping athletes out of the swim portion and heading into transition.  Then we'll be at the finish line for some time in the afternoon/evening putting medals on finishers, helping them once they cross that finish line, and handing out swag.  Then we'll be there as Chad crosses under the arch with the clock. I hope to be able to place that medal around his neck.  Looking forward to a good short weekend with Rylan, seeing how a full Ironman works, hanging out with my college buddy Lonni Wilson and fam, and cheering Chad on during a long day of racing.  

    I won't have a long bike ride this week since I'll be in Chattanooga. No way to really get that in. But I'm healthy this week, so I'll be back at my normal routine until Friday.  Then we'll be heading east. Can't wait.  

Until then....

Show Up, Keep Fit, Stay THE Course, 

and Keep Moving Forward

    As always, thanks for following along on this crazy journey.  It's winding down.  I'm sure I'll be sad it's over, but also relieved. One day and one week at a time.  

CPC 

Olathe, KS 

9/21/25

    5 weeks, 4 days, 10 hours, 31 minutes until Ironman Florida